Z całym przekonaniem mogę napisać, że devsi i graficy ArenaNet odwalili w przypadku kobiecych zbroi kawał świetnej roboty tworząc wspaniałe, kobiece, intrygujące wdzianka bez zbytnich udziwnień. Patrząc na Aiona, który również niektóre zbroje ma bardzo dobrze zaprojektowane niestety z przykrością trzeba zauważyć, że dobry smak i pomysłowość przegrała z populistyczną grą z przeciętnym małoletnim koreańskim graczem. Zbroja Assassina z wystającą na metr głową jednorożca – litości!

Na zdjęciu powyżej umieściłam jedną z moich ulubionych postaci – Trine Wrathdragon, Derwiszkę z białym Vabbian setem. Moja ulubienica na AB, której widok mrozi krew w przeciwnikach, a jej białe szaty uzmysławiają wrogom, że oto zbliża się Siostra Przełożona, która zamiast dobrego i przynoszącego ulgę lekarstwa ma ciężką kosę i wie jak jej używać.

Aby obejrzeć resztę: czyli inne moje postaci z Guild Wars w pełnych zbrojach i bieliźnie zapraszam do albumu: GW zbroje i sexy majtki gdzie można zobaczyć wszystkie kobiece klasy występujące w tej grze.

Trine Blackdragon woke up with a strong feeling that today something very special is going to happen. She drank her morning coffee and went to work.

The Master Funeral Team met together, as always, at lunch time in the company’s canteen.
‘I just feel it’, said Trine, ‘Something very nice and exciting will happen soon’.
‘Oh, there you are’, the Boss’s voice sounded grumpy. ‘You are my new officers since two months, and I have some present for you all’ – he smiled and handed them tickets to the Opera house.
‘They say it’s a very good show. Enjoy’, and he went away whistling happily.

‘What is that’ – said David, looking at the tickets with amusement. ‘Is this some kinda joke?’
‘Bugger. I hate bloody Opera’ – said Jester.
‘You are right Trine’, said Jim, grinning. ‘It is something very special indeed’.
‘Interesting’, said Jezz and looked at the others. ‘Last time, new officers were given tickets to The Ashford Abbey Naked Party’.
‘Ohhhh’, the team was very disapointed. ‘I always wanted to got to that famous Naked Party’, said Jim with a very funny, romantic looking face.
‘Yeah, but now we have to go to the bloody Opera’, said Jest.
‘Not necessarily’, said Jezz. ‘I have some idea. Let’s go to Lion’s Arch and trade our tickets to the Opera for tickets to The Ashford Abbey Naked Party’.
‘Awesome idea Jezz!’, smiled David.

So the team went to the famous town of numerous traders and merchants – Lion’s Arch.
They stood near the fountain, and Trine started to shout in pink: ‘Wanna trade tickets to the Opera for tickets to The Ashford Abbey Naked Party!’.
‘They don’t hear you Trine’ said Jim. ‘Try harder’.
Trine tried as hard as she could. ‘OMG, I lost my lungs’ – she said, breathing heavily.
‘Oi’, said some very angry and not very friendly voice. ‘What are you doing?’, the man was tall and quite big.
‘We wanna trade tickets’, replied Trine cheerfully. ‘Are you interested?’
‘Are you retarded or what?’, he said. ‘This is my town. And this is my trading district. And you’re coming here like that and starting to shout in PINK?’, the guy was really unfriendly. ‘If you wanna trade here: firstly – you pay me, and secondly – YOU TRADE IN WHITE, NOT IN PINK’, he yelled at Trine.
Trine couldn’t move. She thought what she is supposed to say to that. But someone was quicker that her thoughts.
David the Berserker appeared out of the blue and jumped at the unfriendly guy. He grabbed his head and started to bang it against a marble fountain with no remorse.
‘Never, ever in my life, has anyone been as rude to me, as you!!!’, he cried with fury.
Jester looked at the guy lying on the steps of the fountain, and simply said to David: ‘Good job’.

‘Hmmm’ – said Jezz. ‘We have a problem’, and he pointed at the mob of angry traders. ‘But I have something that can help’.
He searched his bag and took out a very big and very nasty looking Black Widow spider.
‘Arnold’, said Jezz and gave him a cuddle; then he pointed at the the nearby crowd – ‘Look, flies!’.
In 20 minutes, all white traders in Lion’s Arch were properly cocooned and neatly wrapped in big, strong webs.
‘You definitely watched „The Wilds” movie a few times too many, Jezz’, said Jim happily.

The Master Funeral Team sat down on the steps of the fountain. ‘Ok, shall we start trading?’ – asked Jezz.
Trine started to shout her offer in pink, and the cocooned traders with sealed mouth were just mumbling with anger.
‘Oh’, said Jest. ‘I like this way of doing trade’.
In the next 5 minutes they found some nice girl who wanted to trade tickets to The Ashford Abbey Naked Party for tickets to the Opera.
‘Ohh’, she said with a smile, ‘It’s so good that I have found you. My Boss gave me those tickets, but I hate naked parties and I adore Opera’.
‘I never dreamt that I can trade them. By the way, what happened to all those white traders who always shout at pink people?’

The Master Funeral Team pointed at a forest of cocooned people, who looked like if they were in the last phase of Alien’s transformation.
And next they jumped up and shouted : ‘PAAARTYYYYYYYY’.

Today was Ms. Blackdragon’s first day at work as an officer, and thus she really needed to be on time. So she didn’t even shower, just drank some still water from a plastic bottle, and dashed to work. It’s hard to believe, but sometimes miracles do happen. Trine jumped into her cubicle as a chased rabbit jumps into his hole. She tried to do a few things at one time: changing her trainers to stilettos, opening a laptop, and looking in a small mirror to assess how bad is her makeup. Suddenly…

‘Cough’, she heard someone, very close and not very friendly.
‘Trine’, said the Boss very officially. ‘This is your first day as an officer. I hope that you will not disappoint me’
‘Yes, sir. I will… I mean I won’t', said Trine, trying to stay conscious.
‘I hope you remember about the training?’, asked the Boss.
‘Yes, sir. Of course I remember’, said Trine. ‘Don’t panic, just don’t panic and all will be fine’, she thought. Then she opened her laptop.

‘Hello Jezz. Please save me!’, cried Trine in panic.
‘OK, it won’t be very difficult. Firstly: calm down. And secondly: please come to the conference room, my training for all new officers commences in 2 minutes’. Jezz was, as always, very helpful.
‘Ohh, I’m so sorry, how could I forgot?’, she was really upset.
‘That’s allright, really. Try to eat more carrots, I heard that in your age they’re very good for memory problems’ – said Jezz and grinned.
‘Cough’ – for a second Trine couldn’t catch her breath. Everyone knew that Jezz was even older than herself.

Trine jumped into the conference room at the last second, quickly sitting in a free chair – next to Jest, David and Jim.
‘Hi guys’ – she whispered.
‘Hi Trine’ – said Jim, and the training started.
‘All new officers need to take some courses. One of those is a very important training: ‘SEXUAL HARASSMENT AT YOUR WORKPLACE’. Jezz was doing great, but the topic was quite boring, so David ended up reading a book, Jim was drawing some sketches in his notebook, and Jest and Trine simply dozed off.

Trine woke up when David kicked her in a foot.
‘I’m listening’ – shouted Trine and jumped up from her chair. Surprisingly, Jezz was in extremely bad mood.
‘I blame the Wiki’ – he said.

All members of The Master Funeral Team were strongly addicted to one specific website, but Jest and Trine were clinical cases.
‘Ok, that was the theoretical part, now you must pass a practical test’ – said Jezz. ‘We will see each other in Kamadan, and I want to see only tights and dresses’.
‘I don’t have a dress’ – said David sadly.
Jezz scrutinized him. ‘A skirt will be fine’ said the trainer finally.

In Kamadan Jezz said: ‘Now guys, I wanna see all of you dancing on those wooden pipes – and remember what you have learned’.
After 1 hour, Jim and David passed with an ‘A’, Trine has had some problems, because when she got her first whisper – ‘Wanna cyber?’ – she didn’t know what to do. She thought for a while, and simply didn’t answer – and then she passed, getting an ‘A’ too.
‘Ok guys, lets go to a pub, we need to celebrate’, said David.
‘I think it may be difficult’, said Trine and pointed at Jester.

Jest stood in the middle of Kamadan, in a big circle of very angry men.
‘We can’t take all of her fans to the pub with us’, said Jim.

It was a very long in night in Kamadan, when all rune traders and dye traders finally went to sleep. One female voice was very clearly heard.
‘Yeah, reeeeeaaaally?! You look like a Dolyak guano! The one which hasn’t decomposed yet!’, shouted Jester passionately.

‘I’ve just had enough’ said the Husband with anger. ‘All husbands know where their wives are working, and what are they doing there’ – he said.
‘Hun, we talked about this so many times, please calm down…’
‘I can’t calm down, we’re having this conversation for 6 months now – that you should allow me to see your work’.
‘I just can’t, it’s not as simple as you think, you need very sophisticated electronic equipment for it…’
‘You just don’t want me to see it’ said the Husband sadly. ‘I care about you, I’m afraid that something can happen to you’ he added.

Trine sighed. What was she supposed to say to that? So she agreed. Little Shaggy stayed with her grandma at home. And Trine went with her husband to work.

‘Guys, I need some cover from you’ said Trine.
‘Hun, what’s going on?’ asked Jezz.
‘My husband badly needs to see how I work. I tried to explain, you know, that it is simply not possible – but he is very stubborn and won’t listen.’
‘Arrrr, that won’t be easy to do hun’ said Jest.
‘I know’ – replied Trine sadly – ‘but I really have to do it’.
‘You will need access key, you know that, don’t you?’ – asked Jim.
‘Yes, I know that’
‘Ok’ – said Jest. ‘There is only one person who can do it… and this person is me’ – she added modestly.

After a long and stressful wait, they saw Jester with an access key in her hand. She was pale and her hair was a complete mess.
‘Jest, what happened?’ asked David.
‘Don’t even ask’ replied Jest gloomily. ‘I needed to make minions from my heroes’.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry hun’ said Trine with sympathy.
‘It’s OK, I knew it won’t be easy’. Jester sighed and started to shake remains of Olias off her jacket.

Trine gave the access key to her husband.
‘Remember, this is a very important item. When we’re finished here, I need it back’ she said very slowly and clearly.
‘Ok hun, don’t worry I won’t lose it’ – he replied.
‘We will go to a very nice place, you will like it’.
‘Oh, this looks so beautiful’ – the Husband was clearly impressed. ‘All those nice lovely, sandy beaches, these tropical palm trees’ – he was obviously up to it.
‘Yes, as you can see, there is nothing really special in my work. I’m just trying to find sick bugs, insects and plants – and then to give them some cure.’
‘Not everything can survive such treatment, but as you can see, now it’s very nice around here, isn’t it?’ – asked Trine, kicking the last remaining termite in its leg.

‘Ok, now we can head back home’ – said Trine happily.
As soon as she saw the Husband’s face, she knew that something is wrong… terribly wrong.
‘OMG, you didn’t lose the access key, did you?’ – she asked very calmly.
‘Hun… You know that I love you so much’ – started the Husband, sounding a bit unsure. And then he just started running across the fields.
‘RAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE EEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ’ – heard the last termite, hiding under the tree.

Boss was very official when he saw her, so she knew the task will be very unpleasant.
‘So it’s time to make my hands dirty’, she said.
‘Yes’, he agreed. And offered her some files in a folder with big capital letters: TOP SECRET on top. She opened it.
‘Ouch’ she thought. Hell’s Precipice, the very last mission of Prophecies.
‘Don’t stand like that girl! Get back to work!’ Boss tried to be supportive in his own creepy way.
‘How much time do I have?’ she asked.
’1 hour.’
‘But…’
‘It’s hard I know, but you can manage’, he said. ‘And you can choose whoever you want for that mission’ he added generously.

‘It’s better than nothing’ she sighed, and went to her cubicle. Trine opened the Messenger.
‘Hello guys’
‘Hello Smelly’ – Jest, as always, wanted to be friendly.
‘Hello Trine, what’s up?’ asked Jim.
‘We have work to do guys, and you won’t like this.’
‘So what’s on this time?’ – asked Jezz, calm as always.
‘Rurik’s funeral.’
‘Bugger’ – said Jest.
‘Can you help me guys?’
‘Sure thing hun’ – replied Jester.
‘I’m ready’ – said David – ‘As always’ – he nodded.
‘Ok, guys I will meet you there’ – said Trine and closed her laptop.

‘How do I look?’ – asked Jester.
‘Very nice’ – replied everyone.
‘Cool Jim, this white gown really looks good on you’ – said Trine.
‘Thanks Trine’ – said Jim – ‘I bought it yesterday in the Warehouse, and look at this!’ then he pointed at his legs – ‘Victoria’s Secret tights!’
‘Wooow Jim, you look very posh’ – said Jest.
‘Thanks guys’ – said Jim and grinned.

‘Oki guys, let’s focus, we have work to do’ – said Ms. Blackdragon.
‘I am ready’- said David.
‘All ready?’ – Trine asked.
‘Yup’ – said all.
‘Stay close, don’t rush and all will be just fine’ – said Trine. – ‘OMG’- she thought – ‘At least I hope so’.

That was very hard and tiresome mission. All this Sparks of the Titans casting all the way Rodgort’s Invocation. This Burning Titans and their 3 forms…
But it wasn’t just an ordinary team; it was The Master Funeral Team.

At the end of the day they were standing near a lava lake, watching how Prince Rurik’s spirit floats up into the sky; and they felt relieved in some way.
‘Don’t even think about crying’ – said Jester, kicking Trine in her feet.
‘I’m not crying, it’s just dust from this cursed Lich has jumped into my eye’ – said Ms. Blackdragon.
‘Come on guys!’ – roared Jim – ‘Let’s drink!’
‘I am ready’ – said David.

And the Master Funeral Team rushed as hell to the nearest pub.

- I jak tam pierwszy dzień w szkole synku?
- Dzieci się ze mnie śmiały.
- Czemu?
- Powiedziały, że mam krótkie nóżki.

Lecz cóż to? Na drodze niepomna na wszystko,
Wyrasta dziewoja o oczach przeczystych,
Pięciu dzikich wojów, nie bacząc na cel,
Przerwało Bożenie jej słodki sen.

Gdy o zmroku dotarli do jaskini bram,
Wyjęli swoją broń, naostrzyli stal,
Zebrali potężne czary jak wiązkę błyskawic,
Przygotowali swoje spelle wskrzeszające
Tych padłych.

Zakrzyknął Kumbaron widząc takie party,
Zawołał pomocników, zbladł nie na żarty!
Śmiech rozległ się w jaskini, zabrzmiały złożeczenia,
Na Herszta ruszyła szalona drużyna.
Dzielnie stawał wódz, bronił się walecznie,
Lecz nie wytrzymał. W końcu, padł ostatecznie.

Pot ocierając z czoła, krew i flegmę z ostrzy,
Rzucili się plądrować truchło nieostygłe.
Jak uczciwie się dzielili, wspierali w potrzebie,
O tym piszą kroniki, milczą zawistnicy.
Z pełnymi plecakami, zmęczeni, lecz z fantazją,
Ruszyli w powrotną drogę, ponurym ciemnym borem.

Lecz cóż to? Cud – dziewoja pod drzewem wyrasta,
Nieświadoma niczego, nie bacząc na porę,
Bożena złotowłosa idzie sobie borem.

Z bajki dziateczki, morał płynie taki:
Nie wchodźcie party w drogę, bo nie przeżyjecie draki,
Nie zostawiajcie Bożeny samej w głuchym lesie,
Bo nigdy nie wiecie, kogo droga niesie.

I ja tam byłam, miód i mleko piłam, Bożeny nie bałamuciłam.

Pozdrawiam party: Weles, Vardena, Sundar, Spectre, Damus, Razjel, Mezt.

BrokenWing (18.08.09)

- Panie doktorze, proszę mi powiedzieć prawdę… Czy to delirium tremens?
- Nie, to mushroom transformation.

Poszła mrówka zasmucona, nie zagra sobie w Aiona.

Brokenwing
czerwiec 2009